My First Experience of Tasting the Raindrops
by Feather
Summary: Angst/slightly AU///Cho's thoughts on Cedric's death


My First Experience of Tasting the Raindrops

Author: Feather

Category: Harry Potter

  
Genre: Angst/ AU

Rating: PG

Author's notes: Here I am, writing another Harry Potter fic. I am very amazed at my sudden inspiration. I am not sure if this topic has yet been clichéd, Cho's thoughts on Cedric dying. I know that I have seen a few similar summaries, but I didn't read those stories, this is entirely my own creation. A few notes: I LOVE my reviewers, you are so kind to me, as I have just started writing in this category. Thank you all so much. **This is a Cho and Cedric story**. I don't know if that deserves a warning, but there it is. This is slightly AU, too, I just made something happen to Cho for a bit. Sorry. And I saw the Harry Potter Movie twice! (Plus a downloaded version off of Morpheus, similar to Napster. Bad author!) I was horribly disappointed... oh well. Love you all ^.^ ~ Feather

I'm just sitting here, thinking of you. The candles have burned low, their delicate, low flames flickering, the light I once loved almost gone yet.

Time seems to have slowed down now, the hours passing heavier and heavier with each minute, each second a constant reminder that you aren't here with me anymore.

I think about you a lot, all the wonderful things you showed me. Do you remember how we used to talk to each other for hours, and how sometimes you'd just come and be with me?

I remember when I first met you, my aloof façade and my witty sarcasm my only defenses from keeping me from drowning in your endless eyes. The only thing that kept me from you was my pride, my foolish pride battering down anything that would have given me more time with you.

The first time we met, after the ball, was wonderful. Though the skies were heavy with snow and winter had come, you walked with me around the grounds, and I confessed my inter-most secrets to you. And you, will your endless patience, listened to me, like you'd never heard another person talk before. And you comforted me, tentatively holding me when I cried, that heavy sorrow taken off.

Do you remember the way you used to look at me, the way your eyes were filled with a special, gentle smile? The way you used to look at me, that smile you wore on your face, it was the only thing that made me think that I was ever someone who was worth anything.

But now you're gone. My world, in one second, was torn down, shattered into a thousand pieces, swift and sharp as glass. We all have these demons inside that tear down all ideals we've ever held of happiness. I can't believe I never told you how much you meant to me, I always assumed you'd be there. 

Do you remember the first time you held me, really holding me? We were walking again, and the rain started to fall. I pulled you towards the castle, I didn't want you to get sick before the second task. I tried to convince you to go back to the castle, but the rain held you in such awe, such raw amazement and wonder passing over you face.

I remember you took my hand, and we walked near the forest, past carriage and the boats and the Gamekeeper's hut. You stopped me, and pulled me up to you, so my back was facing you. Silently, you tipped my head up towards the thick black clouds the filled the sky with rain. Gently, softly, you pulled down my jaw so my mouth could taste the raindrops.

And you showed me more than any words could, you showed me the beauty of how to live each second, making each moment so precious and how to live without any regrets.

At first, I hated you for leaving me. How could you leave me, I remember we had sat late at night, talking about everything, everything. I told you everything, and you listened, and you told me about your fears, the lies you told, and through your caring expression, it told me your love for me, so beautiful and naïve you were, so scared.

Why couldn't you have stayed longer? Why, what made me deserve this, I used to ask myself. I could almost imagine that slow smile coming to your lips, the way you used to tease me so much, gently as in your way.

At first I used to cry. The sorrow was too unbearable, all those things you used to tell me coming back. I remembered the first time I saw you for what you really were besides a rival Quiddich player. I wished I could recall every second that I had been with you, all those precious minutes that could take me into a time were I had been happy, and so deeply in love with you. But you told me never to regret anything that had ever happened, so I knew you wouldn't have wanted me to cry.

And I remember when I first found out when I was sick. I know, it wasn't bad, but it scared me so much. I was so angry, and I regret ever hurting you with my harsh words. I was up in the hospital wing for those months, and Madame Pomfrey refused to heal that horrible, though small, cancer by magic. And I remember you telling me those words: "Magic, it can put you back together, stitch you up and patch you back, but look around; not one of those spells can create a single piece of grass."

You taught me so much, Cedric.

The only thing you didn't teach me was how to live with being lonely, or how to say goodbye. But I guess everyone has to learn by themselves. I think of how you've changed me from a bitter jaded person to one who could love again.

I miss you.

Closing notes: I know, this was AU, with that whole cancer thing. I just wanted to add something different. This was done conscious of other authors' works, I've tried to make this as original as possible. Oh and that one part with 'The only thing you didn't teach me was how to live with being lonely' was loosely based on FFIX, at the end with Dagger. I don't want to be blamed for spoiling that! Thank you ~ Feather

Disclaimers: I do not claim to own Harry Potter or any related works.


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